Dear STA, you are Jesus-wanking a pile of masturbatory wank. Please fuck off or I'll be forced to attack you with an electric drill. CHRIST. Love, Matthew.
Dear people who use mail whitelisting services, you are steaming a pile of masturbatory wank. Please suck my engorged cock. K thx bye. No love, Matthew.
Dear VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO, you are steaming cockfarmers. Please be cordially invited to ingest my engorged genitalia. CHRIST. I hate you all, Matthew.
Dear Intel, you are fuckwanking cockfarmers. Please fuck off or I'll be forced to attack you with an electric drill. HRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH. Not much love, Matthew.
Dear Debian developers, you are shitting utter utter bastards. Please reserve them a place in the BIG CHEMICAL FIRE that will be the first thing to happen after the revolution. Fuckwankery. No love, Matthew.
Dear X keysyms, you are Jesus-wanking COMPLETE SHIT. Please be subject to flaming plastic anal violation. K thx bye. Not much love, Matthew.
Dear spammers, you are Jesus-wanking worse than paedophiles. Please reserve them a place in the BIG CHEMICAL FIRE that will be the first thing to happen after the revolution. K thx bye. I hate you all, Matthew.
Dear debian-legal, you are steaming green masturbatory wank. Please be subject to flaming plastic anal violation. K thx bye. Love, Matthew.
Dear PCMCIA, you are cunting a PILE. OF. ARSE. Please be struck by lightning twenty times and have a plane crash on you, but finally be killed by an ambulance driver selecting reverse by accident. Christing puce. I hate you all, Matthew.
Dear Mr. DasherView.cpp, you are shitting COMPLETE SHIT. Please have your skin grated and lemon applied. FURIOUS ANGER. Love, Matthew.