NEW WORDS AND DEFINITIONS 2004

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are 2004's winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come very quickly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.